Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
