How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
