i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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