Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
People in love make me want to vomit
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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