6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
