Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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