things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
