Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
