Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
