I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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