she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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