Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize