That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
