At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
