found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
