Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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