if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
