i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
