it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize
