I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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