I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Girls should come with a carfax report
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
