took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
