i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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