I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
