There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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