11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
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