If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
