i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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