Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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