Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
