Its about making memories worth repressing
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You left your phone here
Wait...
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