you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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