every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize