How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
