I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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