Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
