I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize