Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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