Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
