i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize