So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
