you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach