my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate