i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
