i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
