i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
