Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
