you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
