Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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