OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
