that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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