Yo dont text me then not text me
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
where are my eyebrows?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize