btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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