I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
