We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
