just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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