Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
