It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
