Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
