Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize