its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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